„It’s a female utopia for a night!“

Meet Skirt Club: the exclusive female only play party, launched in London in 2014, and which is set to open in Berlin this month. The international sex club – which has branches in London, New York, Sidney, Miami and Manchester –for bisexual and bi-curious women to explore their sexual fantasies. One of the participants is Lara* from London. She is bi and in an ongoing affair with a man. With us she talks about attraction, sex in the club and the sound of women coming.


Have you ever been at a Sex Party before?

No. Never.

How did you get to Skirt Club?

My lover (male) read about it in a British newspaper. He is bi and very jealous, so he loves to hear all about it. But I go there for myself, taking the opportunity to enjoy sex with women which I’ve always enjoyed but rarely experienced. 

What do you associate with the Skirt Club?

It is a wildly thrilling sexual experience. It is entirely liberating and it is revolutionary. Before I got to know about Skirt Club, sleeping with women, meant finding a butch dyke. But here you meet hot feminine women, women from all walks of life that you would never expect to be open to sex with other women. Times have changed and The Skirt Club just exactly proves that. It came along just at the right time. It is very much of the zeitgeist where a lot of things are going on to empower women in multiple fields. As for the ambience, it’s like a ballet. There are women, often very beautiful women, dressed up, then quickly undressed, making love everywhere you turn. Like in some sort of feline utopia. 

Everyone is getting it on with each other, it’s completely open. It’s a brilliant sexual adventure. It represents complete freedom to explore your sexuality in a luxurious party setting with drinks and entertainment.  It’s very friendly, it’s unique. And it’s daring, because everyone is letting their guard down, with regards to overcoming one of the biggest taboos in our society. Being a gay man is one thing. Being a gay woman is even more hidden and less accepted in society. But it looks like bi is now sexy and cool…

Do you have romantically expectations?

No. They advertise it as a sort of no numbers exchange experience, and I’m always happy to leave on my own without having any numbers exchanged.

Why do you participate?

I’m attracted to women and I find it thrilling that you have such a wide choice of women here, open to exploring their sexuality.

How can I imagine the situation – how do the women come closer?

Usually, it begins with chatting and drinking champagne. Then there’s usually a pep talk and by then people are starting to get drunk. There is some kind of sexy entertainment after which the situation usually gets wild quickly. Women start making out in the bedrooms, a pile of bodies on each bed. Some play spin the bottle and start kissing and playing with each other in this context. Some play games games to break the ice, like contests of licking cinnamon from a naked body. You hear women coming all over the apartment. People get completely naked, make out in the bath and have lots of sex. I’ve been pounced by women, got undressed by them, or got invited to do a threesome…

One on one or an orgy?

It is usually one on one or threesomes but you have multiple pairs or groups piled together on the same bed. That’s what I’ve seen. So it feels like one mass orgy.

Is it possible to just do nothing and stay in the voyeur role ?

Yes. There’s lots of watching that goes on. 

Do you have any inhibitions?

I don’t have any boundaries in respect of the above, but I’ve seen women who were too timid to do anything but watch.

What was your best experience there?

Hmmm. It’s probably the first time I went when people were so complimentary about what I was wearing, and because it was exciting to go into something that was such an unknown. What would I find there? It was so interesting to me to see the range of women there. Unexpected.  It gave me a great feeling of being so welcomed. Then a woman pounced me and started making out with me in front of a room of people, going down on me. I had to be brave. So that’s a strong memory. But maybe it is just experiencing gentle love making with another woman, and then hearing wild erotic tales from someone else.  There is so much to chose from. Being bemused by the sound of so many women coming. Loving the female bonding that one finds there. Men destroy the world thing with their aggression and testosterone and are often mean to women but the energy there is void of that male nonsense. It’s a place of peace! It’s a female zone. Loving. It’s a female utopia for a night!

Whom do you tell, that you visit the Skirt Club?

A few friends. I’m not really shy about it. I was raised by a lesbian and my mother when I was tiny…They were flat mates.

Have you ever met a woman again?

Not from The Skirt Club, but I sometimes wonder if people do that. I’m not there looking to do that.

What do you prefer: having sex with a woman or a man?

I think it’s like a small piece of magic to transcend the social boundaries and rules we all grow up with, and to find other women receptive to sex. That is what’s interesting on a psychological level. Physically, I think women tend to have a more gentle energy together. I say gentle despite the fact that sex can be wild and rough. Perhaps it’s not being gentle but it’s more of a sharing of a symbiotic synergy that comes from being of the same sex. For me, I have an easier time trusting women emotionally and I’m much bolder than with men. And so I find it thrilling without the fear of rejection which I can get with men.  Of course women’s tits are always a huge turn on and men’s aren’t usually as sexy. I think about this question often actually. I don’t think that having sex has a sex. It doesn’t for me. I can’t really distinguish between men and women, physically, especially if you bring toys into the equation, and I think men are so obsessed with their dicks that I like there not being any real dicks around.  

Lara* is not the real name. Our interviewpartner prefers to be anonymous in this piece.

©Photos Skirt Club/Victoria Dawe

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